Putting Delight On Ice

Like this but not quite.


I remember this one image from my dreams last night…

I opened a freezer drawer, the kind at the bottom of a fridge, and it was full of beautiful, brightly-coloured popsicles covered in candy.

I’ve never seen them in real life.

They look goofy and pretty and fun and indulgent and delicious.

I don’t eat any candy really, but I love the look of these.

They remind me now of the movie The Witch, and Black Phillip whispering “Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?”



I think I am generally pretty good at living deliciously, in making regular days into adventures that are candy-coated, and in seeing the potential for sweet fun in regular moments.

I lose that power in a fog of bad news forgetting though.

And I feel weighted down by doubt.

Doubt in myself, and in the reasonableness of pursuing delight in a dark world. But in the dream the kid-like delight is right there, available on ice.


When I was 7 years old we moved to Los Angeles – my mom and I – to live with her new husband who had gone ahead of us to get a job. We had to live for a week or so in a shady apartment complex in a bad part of town. We had a mattress on the floor and a fridge, and the pool outside was empty, and there were dark stains in the hall. My mom asked me to play inside.

I remember now I made a game of inventing popsicle flavours with everything in the fridge, and everything in the house. I mashed things and filled small popsicle containers and conducted serious taste tests. I was oblivious to the sketchy surroundings and totally entertained.

A few days later we moved to a tiny apartment on a street hung heavy with jasmine bushes where I was allowed to play outside.


In a dark world I think we must resist the urge to put our delight on ice. Let us pull open those old drawers and share our candy-coated selves.

Our revelries, our joy. Our kid-like creativity is full of power.

So yes: retreat in order to blossom on a new street.

Rest and play to fuel your resistance.

Be kind to the little kid in you and in each of us.

Because I think they are the ones who will invent our way out of these grey days and nightmares.

Be so gentle with yourselves.


Audre Lorde.

Audre Lorde.

Posted in Dreams, Writing by Risa Dickens.